Two words that can stop a conversation in it’s tracks.
And apparently a blog post, as I have forgotten where I was going with that.
Are you pleased?
I don’t know if it’s because of my brain cells dying at a faster rate than a bible abiding christian’s or because I am just getting more bloody ripe. As in age. Not in flatulence. Although now that I have mentioned farts and age in the one paragraph.
Let me introduce to you dear bloogers…woo ooh…one or two three of me favourite oldies from God’s Waiting Room. Naturally disguised, somewhat.
FrumpyDumpyJJ…[pst Lessy picture Magda in her old woman character but with dark hair and a non-smoker]. I could learn to like FrumpyDumpyJJ, especially if she could learn to distinguish me from UnReliableJune. Therefore ceasing her need to scold me for forgetting to put ‘ergawnon’erbeddd [her gown on her bed]. Something I can proudly say I have never ever forgotten to do, once I understood WTF she was saying.
A woman after me own heart she is…she’s a chipoholic. At the moment, she Loves her pringles and cheesy puff things. And very generous with them. Well with old January she is. She’ll shuffle over there faster than a period cramp can bend you double to shove a hand full of them in January’s hand. Yes, the aides are trying to teach her to not “hand” them out, but to pour them into a plastic cup. She leaves her well seasoned fingers for me to hold as I walk out the door at the end of my shift. One day I’ll freak her out and lick those stubby little fingers. HaHaHA. Uhm. No I won’t. She may liiike it.
Beulaah…when she’s lucid. She cracks me up. In her years before taking up residence in God’s Waiting Room she was a midwife in the mountains. Delivered many a baby into the world. She has the most alive blue twinkly eyes [again when she’s lucid] I have ever seen on an old person. On a few occasions I have been treated to a wee cheeky ditty by the lovely Lula. Something about getting the girls behind the shed and kissing them. Ooh La Lah Lulaah. Sadly her days dabbling in lucidity seem to be fewer and fewer lately. I will probably cry when she dies.
Lula’s room mate Ginnie, is another favourite of mine. She has one permanently downward sloping eyebrow and very poor blood circulation. The woman is just about all purple. Every now and again I am lucky enough to catch both Lula AND Ginnie in their shared room. Ginnie is usually scowling [yes, she can’t help it because of that eyebrow] and grumbling at or about Lula. Because Lula’s is or has been peeking out from behind their partitioning curtain while Ginnie is trying to a) eat her dinner….b) read her book…and c) snooze in her help-me-get-up chair…and according to Ginnie “That’s JUST Rude”.
HaHa. Some days I love old people. Which is just as well, as I will be spending the next eight bloody days [so far] with them. Including Christmas Eve then back in on Christmas Day.
I wonder if I can wear my “Yeah Ho Fucken Ho Ho” tee-shirt on Chrissy Day?
Yeah, probably not aye.
11 comments on Anal Leakage.
Add a comment
To add comments without entering your email and image verification, you must be logged in. Login or Join Blogster
ps it isn't pc to say ho ho ho now apparently,because of some dickwad PC mob.
so instead,say slut slut slut
I sounds as if Lulah probably lead a very interesting life.
And I laughed at the rude comment. Maybe she wants to take her behind the partition and kiss her or something.
I was going to say that I am sorry you have to spend the holidays there at work but something tells me that's not necessary.
Are you allergic to wool?
[LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL][LOL]
I have been gone nearly a year, but here you are. American and still funny as ever. I read you posts and I realize I see what I saw through my eye teeth and I can see what I am saying. Eh?